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Several years ago, I attended a wedding and spoke to a woman who suddenly mentioned she needed to leave due to her baby’s routine. She explained that if her baby wasn’t put down to sleep within the next half hour, the routine would be disrupted, leading to sleep issues for both her and the baby. It didn’t matter that it was her friend’s wedding; the routine was non-negotiable. At that time, I didn’t have children, and I thought she was overly rigid. I believed that when I had a baby, I’d be in tune enough with them that they would naturally sleep when tired. How naive I was!
A few years later, my son Sebby arrived, without any manual. I read countless articles and books on baby sleep, some useful and others deeply distressing in my hormonal state. Listening to my peers in NCT, I felt like a failure when I heard their babies were sleeping through the night at three months. After a particularly upsetting book suggested giving water instead of milk at night to stop night waking, I abandoned strict routines until Sebby was five months old. Then, I realized a consistent routine for naps and bedtime was essential for both of us, and I started consulting friends on what worked for them.
Establishing a baby routine has both advantages and challenges. You have to consider your lifestyle as well as your child’s needs. I wanted Sebby to sleep at set times in his crib, which meant staying home during his nap hours. This restriction allowed him to develop a habit of sleeping in his bed rather than on the go. For an hour each morning and two in the afternoon, we were home, and I’d rush back from outings to ensure he was down for his nap on time. Finally, I understood why that woman had left the wedding. Sebby and I were both happier with a structured sleep routine. When he dropped his naps, I struggled emotionally, as his set bedtime and calming pre-bedtime ritual were our constants: supper, bath, cuddles, teeth-brushing, three books in my bed, then milk with his teddy bears in his own bed.
Seek advice from friends you trust, rather than feeling pressured by popular books that may not suit your comfort level. Eventually, you will enjoy uninterrupted sleep again, though those leisurely Sunday mornings may become a memory.
For more straightforward parenting insights, check out articles by Alexandra Hunter.
