By 
If someone questions why I continue to talk about my child, I would ask, “When do you plan to stop speaking about yours?” Whether they are here or not, no matter how brief their time, a child remains a permanent part of one’s life. It’s natural and completely acceptable to feel tethered to memories with them, much like how one might revisit a cherished family event or a joyful childhood memory.
Reliving those moments repeatedly helps keep them alive. The mind’s capacity to hold memories is powerful, preserving so much of a child’s life in a delicate mental “glass box,” both fragile and enduring. This memory is a treasured keepsake. In the realm of baby loss, many grieving individuals often experience isolation, as if their loss makes others uncomfortable. Stories abound of friends avoiding encounters or neglecting to reach out. This can lead to feeling like one’s grief is burdensome, as though sorrow is contagious. It’s essential to remember that while one can control their own responses, they cannot dictate others’ actions. In the aftermath of such loss, it’s vital to let go of others’ expectations and seek those who show understanding and compassion. Holding on to positive interactions and using difficult ones to gently shift public understanding can be empowering.
Cherish those who make an effort to connect, even if their words are imperfect. It’s the intention that counts. Rituals may emerge, and new connections to the child can form through symbols or objects—like a bird, color, or flower that reminds one of them. Snowflakes and wolves bring memories of Winter, while coconuts evoke another lost baby. These symbols can be unique and personal, forming an intimate remembrance shared with loved ones. When they encounter these symbols, the child is brought into their thoughts too. If they’re open, they may share these moments, affirming that the child lives on within their memories as well.
